Monday, October 30, 2023

Don't overdo it; you're not Joey Lou!

If you keep all the candy for yourself, space it all out... we don't need any diabetic comas this year! While you’re searching all the supermarkets and discount stores for just the right goodies to hand out at the door this Spooky Season (or if you merely plan to snuff the porchlight and let the neighbors feed the little cosplaying ragamuffins)…

Be sure to get yourself some brain candy! The Fosterical Library has some delectably dastardly delights to dazzle and dumbfound you this Halloween!

Turn out the lights, snuggle into your comfy place beneath your fave reading lamp, and crack open these horrifyingly good reads:

(Read them at your own risk…)


MURDER SHE LAUGHED

This book will keep you up… unwilling to stop reading, desperately in need to find out who survives, who gets away with the vilest of acts, and who walks away without a whisper of suspicion. Unveiled are such over-the-top tales as: Sherlock Holmes faces his own unending nightmare in The Sleeper Rises… The elusive Zodiac Killer resurfaces to keep hidden his own identity in Mr. A, Alias Mr. Z… plus other spine shivering stories of horrible mind-bending visions and mysteries past and future. Stay awake! Beware of what lurks just around that dark corner.


NO EXIT

It may share its title with a number of better-known works, but if you enjoy science fiction mystery with a twist, you ought to give this voracious volume a look.

Journalist Michael Arc mysteriously disappeared in 2003. In the years following, all written and photographic evidence of his existence began to disappear as well. Before he vanished, he was working on the bizarre topic of time travel and certain nefarious forces who may be using it to alter the past and create a new future that favors their evil. Evil like the Allies’ loss of World War II, like a certain thwarted assassination attempt in Dallas, and other historical game-changing events! Arc’s secret files have now been discovered! Astonishing tales of chrono-chaos; there's historical chicanery, alien agendas, confused scientists, mysterious strangers… even a dinosaur!

If they drop the big one tomorrow, you won't sweat it, having survived the terrifying tale contained in…


YOU CAN RUN: A Horror Novella

Who are they? What are they? The world of supernatural lore knows them only as “marchers.” Ancient ethereal predators from beyond the veil. For centuries they have hunted humans, silently, relentlessly. With no concept of mercy, they cannot be pleaded with, and pursue their victims to the death – those whom by unholy mischief or betrayal, become marked. Once a marcher has latched on, the hunted have only one option – to run, for as long as possible, with a desperation to pass the mark onto some other unwitting soul, and hope the new victim can as well, lest the mark fall back to them after that person is caught and devoured. Troy Terrill, a young upstart in the game of paranormal investigation, finds himself the only hope of not one, but two cursed people with marchers on their trail. Can he rid them of their pursuing abominations? Can anyone? Don’t dwell upon the answer too deeply; the act of pondering a marcher gives it your scent...

While you're busy being scared, you may want to laugh as well... with Rob's latest offering...



Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.


There they are, brave reader. One or all, if you prefer – they’re not that pricey. Available in paperback, or e-reader. On Amazon or your preferred online book vault. Browse and buy with ease, using the above links.

On Amazon, all usual options apply: AmazonSmile® charities, KindleUnlimited® offers, and Amazon Matchbook®.

Read them in your favorite hiding place, and maybe we’ll see you come dawn… … …

Sunday, October 22, 2023

You don't want Big Roy after you!

Nope nope nope... he's 400 pounds of contract killer, full of bad music and over-the-top kitsch! And he's just the first layer of trouble that our overwhelmed hero is stuck in... Read our currently newest available novel THE FUNNIEST GUY IN THE CASKET! My planned 'Hollywood Trilogy' REALLY IS about to be a trilogy! We're getting close! And it's going to contain definite erotica... But it's just for the e-reader market, and will forego paperback. Why? Because, we need to keep our forests and our living space indoors reserved for living, rather than JUNK STORAGE. You dig? Of course, all of Foster's books currently available in paperback will REMAIN so... until further notice. And they aren't "junk" anyway... So if you still love tabgible reading matter, it's time to get caught up with the first two volumes, ya think??



Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

And the original novel you'll never unread:


Ethan West just wants what everybody wants who struggles to succeed in Hollywood: a breakthrough, a hit – even a small one – that might change the trajectory of his years of frustration and heartbreak in the entertainment rat-race. To be in the loop! Like most, one too many bad breaks has him on the verge of throwing in the towel for good, but a chance encounter with a cult showbiz icon turns his world upside-down.

Suddenly Ethan and his tiny, loyal cadre of fellow hopefuls are shanghaied as crew on a movie-making "project" they'll never forget – if they can survive it – trapped in a jungle nightmare; armed only with video cameras and their theater brat wits; led by a fading, deranged, megalomaniac Hollywood director without a script or a grip on reality; in the path of lethal animals, rogue mercenaries and rampaging cannibals; and ordered to get it all in high-def!

As the production drifts further into surreal chaos, bloodlust and contrived 'reality,' Ethan realizes he must choose, either to follow an insane celebrity to certain doom, or possibly sacrifice his own friends to make it back to civilization – with or without a finished product in the can! Of course, it's a comedy!
Rob Foster's insanely funny novel 'JUST WRONG' will have you cringing on the floor with laughter, at a bizarre breed who will throw away friendships, morals, sense and dignity for an allusive, fleeting prize called fame.

Read in comfy pleasure and hawtness! And from all of us here at Fosterical Laboratories, once more... Have a sexy Autumn, and beyond!

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Ever wanted to be the center of attention?

Just pull out a Fosterical book and casually begin reading... all eyes will avert to YOU. That's the magnetism and commanding presence that they hold, and they (or all) can be merely at your luscious fingertips with a click of a sale! They aren't priced prohinitively. Or maybe you don't care to star in every show, and only want something to curl up with in a fave comfy chair by the fireplace with a cuppa... they can handle that need too! It's all good. Fosterical titles are here for your reading and relaxing pleasure! Give us a browse, shall you?
THE FUNNIEST GUY IN THE CASKET


Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

And the original novel you'll never unread:


Ethan West just wants what everybody wants who struggles to succeed in Hollywood: a breakthrough, a hit – even a small one – that might change the trajectory of his years of frustration and heartbreak in the entertainment rat-race. To be in the loop! Like most, one too many bad breaks has him on the verge of throwing in the towel for good, but a chance encounter with a cult showbiz icon turns his world upside-down.

Suddenly Ethan and his tiny, loyal cadre of fellow hopefuls are shanghaied as crew on a movie-making "project" they'll never forget – if they can survive it – trapped in a jungle nightmare; armed only with video cameras and their theater brat wits; led by a fading, deranged, megalomaniac Hollywood director without a script or a grip on reality; in the path of lethal animals, rogue mercenaries and rampaging cannibals; and ordered to get it all in high-def!

As the production drifts further into surreal chaos, bloodlust and contrived 'reality,' Ethan realizes he must choose, either to follow an insane celebrity to certain doom, or possibly sacrifice his own friends to make it back to civilization – with or without a finished product in the can! Of course, it's a comedy!
Rob Foster's insanely funny novel 'JUST WRONG' will have you cringing on the floor with laughter, at a bizarre breed who will throw away friendships, morals, sense and dignity for an allusive, fleeting prize called fame.

Read in confidence and satisfied health! And from all of us here at Fosterical Laboratories, once more... Happy Autumn!

Monday, October 9, 2023

Sharing the happiness!!

My planned 'Hollywood Trilogy' REALLY IS about to be a trilogy! We're getting close! And it's going to contain definite erotica... But it's just for the e-reader market, and will forego paperback. Why? Because, we need to keep our forests and our living space indoors reserved for living, rather than JUNK STORAGE. You dig? Of course, all of Foster's books currently available in paperback will REMAIN so... until further notice. And they aren't "junk" anyway... So if you still love tabgible reading matter, it's time to get caught up with the first two volumes, ya think??



Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

And the original novel you'll never unread:


Ethan West just wants what everybody wants who struggles to succeed in Hollywood: a breakthrough, a hit – even a small one – that might change the trajectory of his years of frustration and heartbreak in the entertainment rat-race. To be in the loop! Like most, one too many bad breaks has him on the verge of throwing in the towel for good, but a chance encounter with a cult showbiz icon turns his world upside-down.

Suddenly Ethan and his tiny, loyal cadre of fellow hopefuls are shanghaied as crew on a movie-making "project" they'll never forget – if they can survive it – trapped in a jungle nightmare; armed only with video cameras and their theater brat wits; led by a fading, deranged, megalomaniac Hollywood director without a script or a grip on reality; in the path of lethal animals, rogue mercenaries and rampaging cannibals; and ordered to get it all in high-def!

As the production drifts further into surreal chaos, bloodlust and contrived 'reality,' Ethan realizes he must choose, either to follow an insane celebrity to certain doom, or possibly sacrifice his own friends to make it back to civilization – with or without a finished product in the can! Of course, it's a comedy!
Rob Foster's insanely funny novel 'JUST WRONG' will have you cringing on the floor with laughter, at a bizarre breed who will throw away friendships, morals, sense and dignity for an allusive, fleeting prize called fame.

Read in comfy pleasure and hawtness! And from all of us here at Fosterical Laboratories, once more... Have a sexy Autumn, and beyond!

Tuesday, October 3, 2023

Only the hawtest guys read my books!

At Fosterical, we dress to impress — your Fall reading list is due for a night out! Thrills, suspense, horror, excitement and all sorts of shenanigans from toe to fro for the booklover on the go! Everything is guaranteed to hug your fancy! So put out... the welcome mat, shall you? At Fosterical our aim is to turn you on! Take a look... give these a grab...
THE FUNNIEST GUY IN THE CASKET


Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

And the original novel you'll never unread:


Ethan West just wants what everybody wants who struggles to succeed in Hollywood: a breakthrough, a hit – even a small one – that might change the trajectory of his years of frustration and heartbreak in the entertainment rat-race. To be in the loop! Like most, one too many bad breaks has him on the verge of throwing in the towel for good, but a chance encounter with a cult showbiz icon turns his world upside-down.

Suddenly Ethan and his tiny, loyal cadre of fellow hopefuls are shanghaied as crew on a movie-making "project" they'll never forget – if they can survive it – trapped in a jungle nightmare; armed only with video cameras and their theater brat wits; led by a fading, deranged, megalomaniac Hollywood director without a script or a grip on reality; in the path of lethal animals, rogue mercenaries and rampaging cannibals; and ordered to get it all in high-def!

As the production drifts further into surreal chaos, bloodlust and contrived 'reality,' Ethan realizes he must choose, either to follow an insane celebrity to certain doom, or possibly sacrifice his own friends to make it back to civilization – with or without a finished product in the can! Of course, it's a comedy!
Rob Foster's insanely funny novel 'JUST WRONG' will have you cringing on the floor with laughter, at a bizarre breed who will throw away friendships, morals, sense and dignity for an allusive, fleeting prize called fame.

Read in cozy pleasure and giddiness! And from all of us here at Fosterical Laboratories, once more... Happy Autumn!

Friday, September 22, 2023

Oh, the irony...

Well now, just look at us; here we are with Fall nearly on top of us, the cuddle up and read season, every place offering pumpkin spice this and candy apple that, and the Autumn Reading List is woefully short of amazing titles. People like us need an attitude adjustment. At the least!

Some don't have it even that good. You owe it to yourself, to LAUGH AT THEM. Yep. And here is that gateway to hilarity. And thrills. And Suspense. 

Don't worry, nobody's watching.

Meet hitmen Mike & Larry, the Abbott & Costello of death. Meet Carla, the transgender steakhouse waitress with a guardian angel complex. Meet Cleedus, the cocaine cowboy still super-quick on the draw, but playing dumb. Meet Dave, the former horrorhost with a coffin full of secrets. Meet Desteen, the modern MexTex Patsy Cline suffering severe depression. Meet Roy, the 400 lb. Elvis impersonator who hates anyone with actual talent. Meet Joey, God's gift to humanity who craps his pants intentionally. And finally meet Oliver, the former worst stand-up comedian in Hollywood, whom this nightmarish world revolves around, no matter how hard he tries to scoot out of the center spot. You'll scare yourself with laughter.
"Funny, quick and enjoyable read with belly laughs galore." — Erin, a review on Goodreads.com

Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

Rob Foster is the author of other well-reviewed novels in the humorous, science fiction and superhero genres. He lives and writes in the mysterious but beautiful hills of the Natural State.

 

Monday, September 18, 2023

Quick, are you stocked up for the Spooky Season??


We can’t keep stuffing ourselves with sweets forever. There’s a reason parents often enforce a rule about only eating one piece of candy from the Halloween booty – they’re afraid of you growing up to get the Diabeedus! Of undoing all their hard work to instill healthy dietary habits in your dark little psyche.

But your brain requires a level of sugar – at least the mental kind. And that, dear reader, is exactly what The Fosterical Library is handing out, at this scarily fun time of year!

Turn down the lights except for your favorite reading lamp, curl up in the big comfy chair or other favorite reading spot, keep some of the leftover Halloween goodies nearby, and dive face-first into the most shockingly fun batch of terrifying tales to titillate and tweak you!

Your purchase provides Rob with a modest royalty, with which he can address his medical expenses – not buy a Corvette (yet, anyway.) You get all this reading enjoyment, plus become a positive doer and shaker in the lives of others. It’s a win-win!!

MURDER SHE LAUGHED

The Zodiac Killer returns in Mr. A, Alias Mr. Z…

Sherlock Holmes matches wits with the mysterious Dr. Caligari and his homicidal slave The Somnambulist, in The Sleeper Rises

Plus… an all original cast of villains and victims await you in stories with dreadfully benign titles like Under Par, A Quick Solution and Way To Go, Mr. Weaver

169 pages of killer fun and tenacious twists! Available in paperback, and e-reader format for your Kindle®, Nook®, or Android book app.

Get in a nap before you order – it will be a loooonng time before you want to sleep again.

NO EXIT

It may share its title with a number of better-known works, but if you enjoy science fiction mystery with a twist, you ought to give this voracious volume a look.

Journalist Michael Arc mysteriously disappeared in 2003. In the years following, all written and photographic evidence of his existence began to disappear as well. Before he vanished, he was working on the bizarre topic of time travel and certain nefarious forces who may be using it to alter the past and create a new future that favors their evil. Evil like the Allies’ loss of World War II, like a certain thwarted assassination attempt in Dallas, and other historical game-changing events! Arc’s secret files have now been discovered! Astonishing tales of chrono-chaos; there's historical chicanery, alien agendas, confused scientists, mysterious strangers… even a dinosaur!

If they drop the big one tomorrow, you won't sweat it, having survived the terrifying tale contained in…


YOU CAN RUN: A Horror Novella


Who are they? What are they? The world of supernatural lore knows them only as “marchers.” Ancient ethereal predators from beyond the veil. For centuries they have hunted humans, silently, relentlessly. With no concept of mercy, they cannot be pleaded with, and pursue their victims to the death – those whom by unholy mischief or betrayal, become marked. Once a marcher has latched on, the hunted have only one option – to run, for as long as possible, with a desperation to pass the mark onto some other unwitting soul, and hope the new victim can as well, lest the mark fall back to them after that person is caught and devoured. Troy Terrill, a young upstart in the game of paranormal investigation, finds himself the only hope of not one, but two cursed people with marchers on their trail. Can he rid them of their pursuing abominations? Can anyone? Don’t dwell upon the answer too deeply; the act of pondering a marcher gives it your scent...

There they are, brave reader. One or all, if you prefer – they’re not that pricey. In paperback, or e-reader. On Amazon or your preferred online book vault. Browse and buy with ease, using the above links.

Read them in your favorite hiding place, and maybe we’ll see you come dawn… … …

(These stories are recommended for readers 18+ only; not something to read to kids at bedtime – or any other time. We’re serious. You’ve been warned.)
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