Friday, September 22, 2023
Oh, the irony...
Some don't have it even that good. You owe it to yourself, to LAUGH AT THEM. Yep. And here is that gateway to hilarity. And thrills. And Suspense.
Don't worry, nobody's watching.
Meet hitmen Mike & Larry, the Abbott & Costello of death. Meet Carla, the transgender steakhouse waitress with a guardian angel complex. Meet Cleedus, the cocaine cowboy still super-quick on the draw, but playing dumb. Meet Dave, the former horrorhost with a coffin full of secrets. Meet Desteen, the modern MexTex Patsy Cline suffering severe depression. Meet Roy, the 400 lb. Elvis impersonator who hates anyone with actual talent. Meet Joey, God's gift to humanity who craps his pants intentionally. And finally meet Oliver, the former worst stand-up comedian in Hollywood, whom this nightmarish world revolves around, no matter how hard he tries to scoot out of the center spot. You'll scare yourself with laughter.
"Funny, quick and enjoyable read with belly laughs galore." — Erin, a review on Goodreads.com
Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.Rob Foster is the author of other well-reviewed novels in the humorous, science fiction and superhero genres. He lives and writes in the mysterious but beautiful hills of the Natural State.
Monday, September 18, 2023
Quick, are you stocked up for the Spooky Season??
We can’t keep stuffing ourselves with sweets forever. There’s a reason parents often enforce a rule about only eating one piece of candy from the Halloween booty – they’re afraid of you growing up to get the Diabeedus! Of undoing all their hard work to instill healthy dietary habits in your dark little psyche.
But your brain requires a level of sugar – at least the mental kind. And that, dear reader, is exactly what The Fosterical Library is handing out, at this scarily fun time of year!
Turn down the lights except for your favorite reading lamp, curl up in the big comfy chair or other favorite reading spot, keep some of the leftover Halloween goodies nearby, and dive face-first into the most shockingly fun batch of terrifying tales to titillate and tweak you!
Your purchase provides Rob with a modest royalty, with which he can address his medical expenses – not buy a Corvette (yet, anyway.) You get all this reading enjoyment, plus become a positive doer and shaker in the lives of others. It’s a win-win!!
MURDER SHE LAUGHED
The Zodiac Killer returns in Mr. A, Alias Mr. Z…
Sherlock Holmes matches wits with the mysterious Dr. Caligari and his homicidal slave The Somnambulist, in The Sleeper Rises…
Plus… an all original cast of villains and victims await you in stories with dreadfully benign titles like Under Par, A Quick Solution and Way To Go, Mr. Weaver…
169 pages of killer fun and tenacious twists! Available in paperback, and e-reader format for your Kindle®, Nook®, or Android book app.
Get in a nap before you order – it will be a loooonng time before you want to sleep again.
NO EXIT
It may share its title with a number of better-known works, but if you enjoy science fiction mystery with a twist, you ought to give this voracious volume a look.
Journalist Michael Arc mysteriously disappeared in 2003. In the years following, all written and photographic evidence of his existence began to disappear as well. Before he vanished, he was working on the bizarre topic of time travel and certain nefarious forces who may be using it to alter the past and create a new future that favors their evil. Evil like the Allies’ loss of World War II, like a certain thwarted assassination attempt in Dallas, and other historical game-changing events! Arc’s secret files have now been discovered! Astonishing tales of chrono-chaos; there's historical chicanery, alien agendas, confused scientists, mysterious strangers… even a dinosaur!
If they drop the big one tomorrow, you won't sweat it, having survived the terrifying tale contained in…
YOU CAN RUN: A Horror Novella
Who are they? What are they? The world of supernatural lore knows them only as “marchers.” Ancient ethereal predators from beyond the veil. For centuries they have hunted humans, silently, relentlessly. With no concept of mercy, they cannot be pleaded with, and pursue their victims to the death – those whom by unholy mischief or betrayal, become marked. Once a marcher has latched on, the hunted have only one option – to run, for as long as possible, with a desperation to pass the mark onto some other unwitting soul, and hope the new victim can as well, lest the mark fall back to them after that person is caught and devoured. Troy Terrill, a young upstart in the game of paranormal investigation, finds himself the only hope of not one, but two cursed people with marchers on their trail. Can he rid them of their pursuing abominations? Can anyone? Don’t dwell upon the answer too deeply; the act of pondering a marcher gives it your scent...
There they are, brave reader. One or all, if you prefer – they’re not that pricey. In paperback, or e-reader. On Amazon or your preferred online book vault. Browse and buy with ease, using the above links.
Read them in your favorite hiding place, and maybe we’ll see you come dawn… … …
(These stories are recommended for readers 18+ only; not something to read to kids at bedtime – or any other time. We’re serious. You’ve been warned.)
Tuesday, September 12, 2023
Leading with our best side...
Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.
And the original novel you'll never unread:
Ethan West just wants what everybody wants who struggles to succeed in Hollywood: a breakthrough, a hit – even a small one – that might change the trajectory of his years of frustration and heartbreak in the entertainment rat-race. To be in the loop! Like most, one too many bad breaks has him on the verge of throwing in the towel for good, but a chance encounter with a cult showbiz icon turns his world upside-down.
Suddenly Ethan and his tiny, loyal cadre of fellow hopefuls are shanghaied as crew on a movie-making "project" they'll never forget – if they can survive it – trapped in a jungle nightmare; armed only with video cameras and their theater brat wits; led by a fading, deranged, megalomaniac Hollywood director without a script or a grip on reality; in the path of lethal animals, rogue mercenaries and rampaging cannibals; and ordered to get it all in high-def!
As the production drifts further into surreal chaos, bloodlust and contrived 'reality,' Ethan realizes he must choose, either to follow an insane celebrity to certain doom, or possibly sacrifice his own friends to make it back to civilization – with or without a finished product in the can! Of course, it's a comedy!
Rob Foster's insanely funny novel 'JUST WRONG' will have you cringing on the floor with laughter, at a bizarre breed who will throw away friendships, morals, sense and dignity for an allusive, fleeting prize called fame.
Read in cozy pleasure and giddiness! And from all of us here at Fosterical Laboratories, once more... Happy Autumn!
Sunday, September 10, 2023
The Play's The Thing!
We haven't covered it in awhile but Rob began his writing career as a playright, and a slew of his (yes, hit) plays are available to produce, share, or merely read if that sort o' thing sets the stage for your enjoyment! From sincere drama to rolicking dramady... it's time to lower the lighrs and settle in for an evening of reading, or performing, pleasure. BTW, Rob has no restriction on any of his stage works; if you represent or belong to a professional or collegiate theatre org, and wish to enquire about production rights, you may contact him here. Check us out!
As we approach Halloween, there are few better reads than the works of Ambrose Bierce. His macabre stories ruled the late 19th century's horror and fantasy genres, as had Edgar Allan Poe's in that mid-century, when ghosts and the inexplicable were taken a bit more seriously than today.
AMBROSE BIERCE, THE LAST STAND OF … attempts to clue in readers – and playgoers – as to the inner workings of one of American history's most mysterious and enigmatic minds!
No one really knows how Bierce spent his final night on earth, after he vanished beyond the Mexican border in 1913, in search of contact with revolutionary Pancho Villa. All communication with Bierce ceased in December of that year, and it could only be assumed that it was because of his demise on some northern Mexico battlefield, or that he was executed by federalé rifles.
Or did he escape?
What we know for certain is that the early 20th century's Master of the Literary Macabre – author of The Devil's Dictionary, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, and The Damned Thing, among other other-worldly works, made good his promise never to lie beneath a tombstone – to this day, he doesn't.
Available in e-book and paperback, Rob Foster's 2-act play is just what you're looking for to sit by the eerie glow of the fire with, munching all the Halloween candy for yourself!
In 2004, (and produced again in a revival by another theatre org in 2013)... this is by far my most successful stage production. It actually spearheaded a Lenny Bruce revival among Southern California/Los Angeles productions... though they hardly knew or acknowledged same. We at least beat them to the punch.
Mr. Bruce, Do You Swear? resurrects the embattled comedian, gadfly, political/social commentator and speaker of the ribald, and relives his trials — with himself narrating, and the audience as a new-generation jury. Hear his case again, with new ears, different norms, fresh outlooks and blown minds.
The stage play in its complete form is contained here, along with Bruce bio info, and a sampling of the local reviews the show received when premiered in 2004.
What changes occured? Longtime Bruce advocate Edward Azlant (RIP) included it in his footnotes, among his larger published Bruce tribute. A direct phone call of encouragement (and subsequent unforgettable conversation) was received from Nat Hentoff (RIP), the journalist most quoted among any serious discussion of Bruce. And finally, the woman herself, Kitty Bruce, Lenny's daughter, found out and sent words of thanks and encouragement!
Yeah, REALLY.
Even a strange dream encounter with Bruce himself... in a bizarre mellowed voice... assured me: "I'm gonna be there, but don't look for me." True. This show had so many surreal moments during initial development... it's spooky.
Not quite everyone loved this show, but plenty important names endorsed it.
Own it, read it, enjoy it, discuss it all again. The most important stand-up comedian of the 20th Century is worth remembering... and seeing live, if you get the chance (via this show).
Lenny, you finally Rest In Peace, but the minds you blew and the ears you opened, still reel, and fight on!
Get it in paperback or e-reader!
Theatrical orgs who wish to produce/perform this show, the expense is not prohibitive we assure you, surprisingly friendly, and eager to compliment (add spice to) your upcoming season! It won't break your theatre's budget, but will get you noticed!
We've all been done wrong. Stop complaining and smile.
Toast those who've screwed you – they'll never again have as good a lay!
Lamenting a lack of love? Stop!
What most people in today's world call "love" isn't worth pining for. Lovers are temporary. Soulmates are not guaranteed to find each other!
You might as well laugh your blues away. The most fun you'll ever have alone, without needing ointment afterward, is Rob Foster's Eight Short Plays That Scientifically Disprove The Existence of Love.
This saucy collection of rowdy sketch comedy explores that mysterious valley between love, like... and mutual tolerance.
Don't let the book's title rile you too much – a treasure trove of lovely laughter awaits, whether you are a theatrical producer, actor, or just want to read and enjoy the ride. Decide for yourself herein what is proven or debunked about everyone's favorite subject, nude skydiving. Er, uh... no. We meant love.
Available, of course, in paperback and e-reader format.
So Fosterical Laboratories has released from the vault, this rare gem from 1996 – in book form for the first time – Rob's disturbingly poignant stage comedy, HOW TO ASSEMBLE A WHALE!
It's newly available in e-reader format, and very soon, possibly as we write this, in paperback, under the banner of Spotlight Theater Classics, which seeks to bring new and regionally known original stageworks to the widest audience possible, in an accessible format to the layperson reader and professional producer alike.
How To Assemble A Whale is guaranteed to knock your funny bone out of joint and kick your brain into gear – as enlightening as it is hilarious.
Hart and Warner couldn’t be any more different than night and day, yet they have two things in common: they’re both in a mental ward, and have both “died ” and returned after seeing the other side. The facility’s Administrator, seeking her own answers to life’s questions, has paired the two to share the same living quarters, in the hope of what may be observed and gleaned from their curious and oddball interactions.
I haven't promo'd this one in a while, so it's about time we spoke up here for a good ol' romantic comedy, perhaps with an edge.
Funny, pithy, punchy and proud of it, is JUST LOVELY.
It's pretty common faire, up to a point. There are tons of stage and movie comedies about the computer-dating scene and the wackiness of the match-dot-com set, but few that address the real problem; the fact that "wacky" is actually the politest term for these people.
Here's a play script that directly pulls their disconnectedness into the spotlight, over their "adorable quirks" and their obligatory "meet-cutes!" Two psychos are a bit too perfectly matched by the Cyberverse of Love, find the sizzle turns quickly into a sobering affair, and attempt to disengage with a shred of dignity left. That is, until meddling friends with the best of intentions coerce them back onto a collision course – and they must endure one more weekend under the microscope.
It's almost the Cabin In The Woods of light romance!
It may hit too close to home if you've spent any time online looking for love, but some dreads and regrets are liberating head-on. As Dante told us, Hell's exit is at its center, not its furthest point out. Welcome to the Dating Inferno… perhaps a redundant term.
Available in paperback or e-reader format.
As we approach Halloween, there are few better reads than the works of Ambrose Bierce. His macabre stories ruled the late 19th century's horror and fantasy genres, as had Edgar Allan Poe's in that mid-century, when ghosts and the inexplicable were taken a bit more seriously than today.
AMBROSE BIERCE, THE LAST STAND OF … attempts to clue in readers – and playgoers – as to the inner workings of one of American history's most mysterious and enigmatic minds!
No one really knows how Bierce spent his final night on earth, after he vanished beyond the Mexican border in 1913, in search of contact with revolutionary Pancho Villa. All communication with Bierce ceased in December of that year, and it could only be assumed that it was because of his demise on some northern Mexico battlefield, or that he was executed by federalé rifles.
Or did he escape?
What we know for certain is that the early 20th century's Master of the Literary Macabre – author of The Devil's Dictionary, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, and The Damned Thing, among other other-worldly works, made good his promise never to lie beneath a tombstone – to this day, he doesn't.
Available in e-book and paperback, Rob Foster's 2-act play is just what you're looking for to sit by the eerie glow of the fire with, munching all the Halloween candy for yourself!
Mr. Bruce, Do You Swear? resurrects the embattled comedian, gadfly, political/social commentator and speaker of the ribald, and relives his trials — with himself narrating, and the audience as a new-generation jury. Hear his case again, with new ears, different norms, fresh outlooks and blown minds.
The stage play in its complete form is contained here, along with Bruce bio info, and a sampling of the local reviews the show received when premiered in 2004.
What changes occured? Longtime Bruce advocate Edward Azlant (RIP) included it in his footnotes, among his larger published Bruce tribute. A direct phone call of encouragement (and subsequent unforgettable conversation) was received from Nat Hentoff (RIP), the journalist most quoted among any serious discussion of Bruce. And finally, the woman herself, Kitty Bruce, Lenny's daughter, found out and sent words of thanks and encouragement!
Yeah, REALLY.
Even a strange dream encounter with Bruce himself... in a bizarre mellowed voice... assured me: "I'm gonna be there, but don't look for me." True. This show had so many surreal moments during initial development... it's spooky.
Not quite everyone loved this show, but plenty important names endorsed it.
Own it, read it, enjoy it, discuss it all again. The most important stand-up comedian of the 20th Century is worth remembering... and seeing live, if you get the chance (via this show).
Lenny, you finally Rest In Peace, but the minds you blew and the ears you opened, still reel, and fight on!
Get it in paperback or e-reader!
Theatrical orgs who wish to produce/perform this show, the expense is not prohibitive we assure you, surprisingly friendly, and eager to compliment (add spice to) your upcoming season! It won't break your theatre's budget, but will get you noticed!
We've all been done wrong. Stop complaining and smile.
Toast those who've screwed you – they'll never again have as good a lay!
Lamenting a lack of love? Stop!
What most people in today's world call "love" isn't worth pining for. Lovers are temporary. Soulmates are not guaranteed to find each other!
You might as well laugh your blues away. The most fun you'll ever have alone, without needing ointment afterward, is Rob Foster's Eight Short Plays That Scientifically Disprove The Existence of Love.
This saucy collection of rowdy sketch comedy explores that mysterious valley between love, like... and mutual tolerance.
Don't let the book's title rile you too much – a treasure trove of lovely laughter awaits, whether you are a theatrical producer, actor, or just want to read and enjoy the ride. Decide for yourself herein what is proven or debunked about everyone's favorite subject, nude skydiving. Er, uh... no. We meant love.
Available, of course, in paperback and e-reader format.
So Fosterical Laboratories has released from the vault, this rare gem from 1996 – in book form for the first time – Rob's disturbingly poignant stage comedy, HOW TO ASSEMBLE A WHALE!
It's newly available in e-reader format, and very soon, possibly as we write this, in paperback, under the banner of Spotlight Theater Classics, which seeks to bring new and regionally known original stageworks to the widest audience possible, in an accessible format to the layperson reader and professional producer alike.
How To Assemble A Whale is guaranteed to knock your funny bone out of joint and kick your brain into gear – as enlightening as it is hilarious.
Hart and Warner couldn’t be any more different than night and day, yet they have two things in common: they’re both in a mental ward, and have both “died ” and returned after seeing the other side. The facility’s Administrator, seeking her own answers to life’s questions, has paired the two to share the same living quarters, in the hope of what may be observed and gleaned from their curious and oddball interactions.
I haven't promo'd this one in a while, so it's about time we spoke up here for a good ol' romantic comedy, perhaps with an edge.
Funny, pithy, punchy and proud of it, is JUST LOVELY.
It's pretty common faire, up to a point. There are tons of stage and movie comedies about the computer-dating scene and the wackiness of the match-dot-com set, but few that address the real problem; the fact that "wacky" is actually the politest term for these people.
Here's a play script that directly pulls their disconnectedness into the spotlight, over their "adorable quirks" and their obligatory "meet-cutes!" Two psychos are a bit too perfectly matched by the Cyberverse of Love, find the sizzle turns quickly into a sobering affair, and attempt to disengage with a shred of dignity left. That is, until meddling friends with the best of intentions coerce them back onto a collision course – and they must endure one more weekend under the microscope.
It's almost the Cabin In The Woods of light romance!
It may hit too close to home if you've spent any time online looking for love, but some dreads and regrets are liberating head-on. As Dante told us, Hell's exit is at its center, not its furthest point out. Welcome to the Dating Inferno… perhaps a redundant term.
Available in paperback or e-reader format.
Saturday, September 9, 2023
WWWWhat's in the box??
This coming Halloween the Fosterical Library has a whole goody-bag full of delightfully scary treats for you.
MURDER SHE LAUGHED
The Zodiac Killer returns in Mr. A, Alias Mr. Z…
Sherlock Holmes matches wits with the mysterious Dr. Caligari and his homicidal slave The Somnambulist, in The Sleeper Rises…
Plus… an all original cast of villains and victims await you in stories with dreadfully benign titles like Under Par, A Quick Solution and Way To Go, Mr. Weaver…
169 pages of killer fun and tenacious twists! Available in paperback, and e-reader format for your Kindle®, Nook®, or Android book app.
Get in a nap before you order – it will be a loooonng time before you want to sleep again.
NO EXIT
It may share its title with a number of better-known works, but if you enjoy science fiction mystery with a twist, you ought to give this voracious volume a look.
Journalist Michael Arc mysteriously disappeared in 2003. In the years following, all written and photographic evidence of his existence began to disappear as well. Before he vanished, he was working on the bizarre topic of time travel and certain nefarious forces who may be using it to alter the past and create a new future that favors their evil. Evil like the Allies’ loss of World War II, like a certain thwarted assassination attempt in Dallas, and other historical game-changing events! Arc’s secret files have now been discovered! Astonishing tales of chrono-chaos; there's historical chicanery, alien agendas, confused scientists, mysterious strangers… even a dinosaur!
If they drop the big one tomorrow, you won't sweat it, having survived the terrifying tale contained in…
YOU CAN RUN: A Horror Novella
Who are they? What are they? The world of supernatural lore knows them only as “marchers.” Ancient ethereal predators from beyond the veil. For centuries they have hunted humans, silently, relentlessly. With no concept of mercy, they cannot be pleaded with, and pursue their victims to the death – those whom by unholy mischief or betrayal, become marked. Once a marcher has latched on, the hunted have only one option – to run, for as long as possible, with a desperation to pass the mark onto some other unwitting soul, and hope the new victim can as well, lest the mark fall back to them after that person is caught and devoured. Troy Terrill, a young upstart in the game of paranormal investigation, finds himself the only hope of not one, but two cursed people with marchers on their trail. Can he rid them of their pursuing abominations? Can anyone? Don’t dwell upon the answer too deeply; the act of pondering a marcher gives it your scent...
There they are, brave reader. One or all, if you prefer – they’re not that pricey. In paperback, or e-reader. On Amazon or your preferred online book vault. Browse and buy with ease, using the above links.
Read them in your favorite hiding place, and maybe we’ll see you come dawn… … …
PLAN 10 FROM OUTER SPACE: THE FINAL SOLUTION
9 TIMES they have traversed the dark cosmos to our world on missions of conquest and destruction – once even attempting to vanquish us with an army of our own dead! 9 TIMES they have have been turned back by courageous humans hanging on by luck and wits alone! AND NOW... From out of the deepest, murkiest bowels of space, they return for one last gasp at total dominance and annihilation! Can yet another brave band of Earthlings thwart the ultimate deadly challenge from the stars? Can your heart stand the shocking, once hidden account of the rest of the nightmarish story, based on sworn testimony...? Your stupid minds! It's the unspeakable sequel exploding out of the void, with cosmic terror... PLAN 10 FROM OUTER SPACE: THE FINAL SOLUTION!
(These stories are recommended for readers 18+ only; not something to read to kids at bedtime – or any other time. We’re serious. You’ve been warned.)
Friday, September 1, 2023
It's time to get daring!
Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.
And the original novel you'll never unread:
Ethan West just wants what everybody wants who struggles to succeed in Hollywood: a breakthrough, a hit – even a small one – that might change the trajectory of his years of frustration and heartbreak in the entertainment rat-race. To be in the loop! Like most, one too many bad breaks has him on the verge of throwing in the towel for good, but a chance encounter with a cult showbiz icon turns his world upside-down.
Suddenly Ethan and his tiny, loyal cadre of fellow hopefuls are shanghaied as crew on a movie-making "project" they'll never forget – if they can survive it – trapped in a jungle nightmare; armed only with video cameras and their theater brat wits; led by a fading, deranged, megalomaniac Hollywood director without a script or a grip on reality; in the path of lethal animals, rogue mercenaries and rampaging cannibals; and ordered to get it all in high-def!
As the production drifts further into surreal chaos, bloodlust and contrived 'reality,' Ethan realizes he must choose, either to follow an insane celebrity to certain doom, or possibly sacrifice his own friends to make it back to civilization – with or without a finished product in the can! Of course, it's a comedy!
Rob Foster's insanely funny novel 'JUST WRONG' will have you cringing on the floor with laughter, at a bizarre breed who will throw away friendships, morals, sense and dignity for an allusive, fleeting prize called fame.
Read in cozy pleasure and giddiness! And from all of us here at Fosterical Laboratories, once more... Have a fantastic Fall, and beyond!
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