Thursday, June 23, 2022

Resist the 'return'

Can we talk?
A disturbing trend among shallow folks who've learned a new 'trick' is to buy an e-book, read it, and return it... thereby getting the book's benefit for free. There's just one BIG problem: it gives the book's author a debt on his/her ledger that they must account for. It seems logical on its face, that since the author made the money, they have it to give back. But it's not that simple; the author only gets a small percentage of that sum, it's called a ROYALTY. In other words, they DON'T HAVE the entire sum, but giving back the WHOLE total is placed on their shoulders. It's costing that author, putting their sales into the minus column. For what? For offering their hard work for sale in the first place. For some cheapskate SHMUCK to return, and get their entire sum back from that author that only got a (usually meager) percentage of, yet must now cough up the difference too. The author winds up OWING more money than they even got, just so that shmuck could get a free read. These shmucks are STEALING from the author. Here at Fosterical, we know our readers aren't cheapskate shmucks... at least we hope they're not. You think writing a book is easy? Fun? Profitable? Well, it's not always. What it is always, is a lot of work, and a lot of pouring out of an author's soul... time they can't get back. Just for some CHEAPSKATE SHMUCK to turn all their work and sacrifice into a waste? Resist the urge to be "trendy." Resist the urge to return. It's a book, on your device. It's not taking up a universe of space, and it wasn't priced unreasonably if you bought it from Fosterical. We sometimes jokingly refer to the place as The Fosterical Library, but that's only in reference to the fact that we offer a great selection. We do not imply we have a 'Feel Free To Rip Us Off' clause. We hope that whatever you purchase, you enjoy over and over again, and recommend to your book-o-phile buddies. Foster writes to pay his medical bills, not to create a new way to go broke faster... (If you saw his car, you'd know he isn't exactly making a fortune here. He does it, because he loves doing it.) Let's keep Fosterical afloat, so that he can continue to produce a broad, brash, bold, booty of bodacious bookery. Try a sample of his jaunts into horror, suspense, thrills & such... which as usual, is all for you — to own rather than 'borrow'. RESIST THE RETURN, RESPECT YOUR INDY AUTHORS. Thanks.

RETURN TO DUNWICH



Evil is reborn. Henry Armitage, grandson of the man who vanquished the cosmic anti-deity Yog Sothoth a century ago, finds himself at Miskatonic University, in search of the mysterious Necronomicon... after surveillance cameras at his own Boston College reveal their copy being stolen – by someone bearing an unnerving resemblance to historical descriptions of Wilbur Whateley, thought to be long dead. Armitage’s fears double, when he discovers a neo-satanic faction of the U.S. Military exists in an underground annex below Miskatonic. They have located the Sleeper of R’lyeh – Cthulhu – and plan to waken, and weaponize him, to pull mankind back to the dark age of ethereal galactic rule upon the Earth! Henry Armitage must prevent the redawning of an evil from beyond the cosmic veil, aided by a monster his grandfather battled, and a rogue group of Miskatonic faculty! Rob Foster creates a modern-day Lovecraftian nightmare – soaked in future technology and ancient blood. The rational and the incredible collide in unholy battle; a tale that will keep you awake, with the lights on – to the last word, which may not be the last.

MURDER SHE LAUGHED


This book will keep you up at night… unwilling to stop reading, desperately in need to find out who survives, who gets away with the vilest of acts, and who walks away without a whisper of suspicion. Or you’ll simply lie in bed, staring into the darkness… wondering, dreading, unable to find relief even in the privacy of your own thoughts. The terrors, manmade or otherwise, are relentless in a world where blood, and alliances no matter how loyal or grudging, are cheap. Whom can you trust when surrounded by strangers with unknown intentions? Or completely alone in a landscape of peril? How confident are you of your own resourcefulness amid a maze of killers? Long lost tales of the famous and infamous dubiously light the way to your escape, in this nerve-rattling anthology. Sherlock Holmes faces his own unending nightmare in 'The Sleeper Rises,' and the forever elusive Zodiac Killer resurfaces to solve, and keep hidden, his own identity in 'Mr. A, Alias Mr. Z'… plus other spine shivering tales of horrible revelation and mind-bending visions of mysteries past and future. Stay awake! Beware of what lurks just around that dark corner.

YOU CAN RUN


"They are beyond anything you can do... except run." – 'Henry' (last known words)

Who are they? What are they? The world of supernatural lore knows them only as "marchers." Ancient ethereal predators from beyond the veil. For centuries they have hunted humans, silently, relentlessly. With no concept of mercy, they cannot be pleaded with, and pursue their victims to the death – those whom by unholy mischief or betrayal, become marked. Once a marcher has latched on, the hunted have only one option – to run, for as long as possible, with a desperation to pass the mark onto some other unwitting soul, and hope the new victim can as well, lest the mark fall back to them after that person is caught and devoured.Troy Terrill, a young upstart in the game of paranormal investigation, finds himself the only hope of not one, but two cursed people with marchers on their trail. Can he rid them of their pursuing abominations? Can anyone? Don't dwell upon the answer too deeply, the act of pondering a marcher gives it your scent.

Plus, don't creep past Rob's latest — so funny it's scary:

Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

Rob Foster is the author of other well-reviewed novels in the humorous, science fiction and superhero genres. He lives and writes somewhere in the mysterious mountains of central California, near Sequoia National Forest.

Tuesday, June 14, 2022

'Demure' is dull... and dumb.

You know that what you have on your plate is only for polite optics. We know what YOU REALLY WANT!
Stop 'shopping for show' and grab what you find exciting, curious, interesting, satisfying! Why be bored just so you look 'sensible' and not like the wild & cray-cray nut you are. Your self-honesty is what's lovable, and results in an enjoyable life. You don't have to mug someone to afford these either. Fosterical reads are that eccentric, kind'a crazy, uniquely engaging books you've been looking for, not just another spin on the same tired crap all the other bestsellers offer. And they're one of the rare things not costing higher and higher in this increasingly ass-headed economy of ours! Yeah, we said it! Need to get some real meat in your diet? Need a change? Start right here, killer!



Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

And the original novel you'll never unread:


Ethan West just wants what everybody wants who struggles to succeed in Hollywood: a breakthrough, a hit – even a small one – that might change the trajectory of his years of frustration and heartbreak in the entertainment rat-race. To be in the loop! Like most, one too many bad breaks has him on the verge of throwing in the towel for good, but a chance encounter with a cult showbiz icon turns his world upside-down.

Suddenly Ethan and his tiny, loyal cadre of fellow hopefuls are shanghaied as crew on a movie-making "project" they'll never forget – if they can survive it – trapped in a jungle nightmare; armed only with video cameras and their theater brat wits; led by a fading, deranged, megalomaniac Hollywood director without a script or a grip on reality; in the path of lethal animals, rogue mercenaries and rampaging cannibals; and ordered to get it all in high-def!

As the production drifts further into surreal chaos, bloodlust and contrived 'reality,' Ethan realizes he must choose, either to follow an insane celebrity to certain doom, or possibly sacrifice his own friends to make it back to civilization – with or without a finished product in the can! Of course, it's a comedy!
Rob Foster's insanely funny novel 'JUST WRONG' will have you cringing on the floor with laughter, at a bizarre breed who will throw away friendships, morals, sense and dignity for an allusive, fleeting prize called fame.

Read in cozy pleasure and giddiness! And from all of us here at Fosterical Laboratories, Have a happy Spring between the covers!

Thursday, June 2, 2022

Get comfy, but...

Park your comfy butt... We plan to enhance your comfort zone; all we require is that you briefly venture beyond it to sample something from the Fosterical Library of Bountiful Bookery. Browse, buy, and pop right back into your cozy cove, your palate of pleasantry... You won't regret the gush of galantry and transformation — the expansion of your readerverse! Click 'View All Titles' up there to see the whole collection, but the next tome to tempt you is nearly here: The Big Jade Machine. It's the third and final fling of Foster's outrageous, hilarious, bodacious Hollywood Trilogy. What, you haven't read the first two legs of the journey? Here are the cuties to click! Get caught up in the intriguing wackery!



Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

And the original novel you'll never unread:


Ethan West just wants what everybody wants who struggles to succeed in Hollywood: a breakthrough, a hit – even a small one – that might change the trajectory of his years of frustration and heartbreak in the entertainment rat-race. To be in the loop! Like most, one too many bad breaks has him on the verge of throwing in the towel for good, but a chance encounter with a cult showbiz icon turns his world upside-down.

Suddenly Ethan and his tiny, loyal cadre of fellow hopefuls are shanghaied as crew on a movie-making "project" they'll never forget – if they can survive it – trapped in a jungle nightmare; armed only with video cameras and their theater brat wits; led by a fading, deranged, megalomaniac Hollywood director without a script or a grip on reality; in the path of lethal animals, rogue mercenaries and rampaging cannibals; and ordered to get it all in high-def!

As the production drifts further into surreal chaos, bloodlust and contrived 'reality,' Ethan realizes he must choose, either to follow an insane celebrity to certain doom, or possibly sacrifice his own friends to make it back to civilization – with or without a finished product in the can! Of course, it's a comedy!
Rob Foster's insanely funny novel 'JUST WRONG' will have you cringing on the floor with laughter, at a bizarre breed who will throw away friendships, morals, sense and dignity for an allusive, fleeting prize called fame.

Read in cozy pleasure and giddiness! And from all of us here at Fosterical Laboratories, Happy New Year!