Saturday, October 31, 2020

Discovering yourself, in quarantine?


Has all the forced "You Time" brought about any self-revelation? Are you finally, legitimately, the Coolest Person In The Room?

Some don't have it that good. You owe it to yourself, to LAUGH AT THEM. Yep. And here is that gateway to hilarity. And thrills. And Suspense. 

Don't worry, nobody's watching.

Meet hitmen Mike & Larry, the Abbott & Costello of death. Meet Carla, the transgender steakhouse waitress with a guardian angel complex. Meet Cleedus, the cocaine cowboy still super-quick on the draw, but playing dumb. Meet Dave, the former horrorhost with a coffin full of secrets. Meet Desteen, the modern MexTex Patsy Cline suffering severe depression. Meet Roy, the 400 lb. Elvis impersonator who hates anyone with actual talent. Meet Joey, God's gift to humanity who craps his pants intentionally. And finally meet Oliver, the former worst stand-up comedian in Hollywood, whom this nightmarish world revolves around, no matter how hard he tries to scoot out of the center spot. You'll scare yourself with laughter.
"Funny, quick and enjoyable read with belly laughs galore." — Erin, a review on Goodreads.com

Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

Rob Foster is the author of other well-reviewed novels in the humorous, science fiction and superhero genres. He lives and writes in the mysterious mountains of central California, near Sequoia National Forest.

 

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Your life is a delicate balance of brains and character.

 


Responsibility is an important trait — it's a virtue. But you can't, you mustn't, keep it up 24/7. You need some 'You Time.' A break. A rest, if only for your overworked psyche.

The sanitarium wing of the Fosterical Library has just the emotional sabbatical you need. 

MYSTERY that isn't your job to solve, just enjoy watch unravel.
HORROR that isn't chasing you, but some enjoyably kooky characters, some of whom deserve it.
THRILLS that you don't need any guard rails for, just enjoy watch from the safety of your comfy place.
LAUGHS that will happen to YOU, while the comedic tragedy befalls someone else.

Come along. The ticket is cheap. The ride is wild.

RETURN TO DUNWICH



Evil is reborn. Henry Armitage, grandson of the man who vanquished the cosmic anti-deity Yog Sothoth a century ago, finds himself at Miskatonic University, in search of the mysterious Necronomicon... after surveillance cameras at his own Boston College reveal their copy being stolen – by someone bearing an unnerving resemblance to historical descriptions of Wilbur Whateley, thought to be long dead. Armitage’s fears double, when he discovers a neo-satanic faction of the U.S. Military exists in an underground annex below Miskatonic. They have located the Sleeper of R’lyeh – Cthulhu – and plan to waken, and weaponize him, to pull mankind back to the dark age of ethereal galactic rule upon the Earth! Henry Armitage must prevent the redawning of an evil from beyond the cosmic veil, aided by a monster his grandfather battled, and a rogue group of Miskatonic faculty! Rob Foster creates a modern-day Lovecraftian nightmare – soaked in future technology and ancient blood. The rational and the incredible collide in unholy battle; a tale that will keep you awake, with the lights on – to the last word, which may not be the last.

MURDER SHE LAUGHED


This book will keep you up at night… unwilling to stop reading, desperately in need to find out who survives, who gets away with the vilest of acts, and who walks away without a whisper of suspicion. Or you’ll simply lie in bed, staring into the darkness… wondering, dreading, unable to find relief even in the privacy of your own thoughts. The terrors, manmade or otherwise, are relentless in a world where blood, and alliances no matter how loyal or grudging, are cheap. Whom can you trust when surrounded by strangers with unknown intentions? Or completely alone in a landscape of peril? How confident are you of your own resourcefulness amid a maze of killers? Long lost tales of the famous and infamous dubiously light the way to your escape, in this nerve-rattling anthology. Sherlock Holmes faces his own unending nightmare in 'The Sleeper Rises,' and the forever elusive Zodiac Killer resurfaces to solve, and keep hidden, his own identity in 'Mr. A, Alias Mr. Z'… plus other spine shivering tales of horrible revelation and mind-bending visions of mysteries past and future. Stay awake! Beware of what lurks just around that dark corner.

YOU CAN RUN


"They are beyond anything you can do... except run." – 'Henry' (last known words)

Who are they? What are they? The world of supernatural lore knows them only as "marchers." Ancient ethereal predators from beyond the veil. For centuries they have hunted humans, silently, relentlessly. With no concept of mercy, they cannot be pleaded with, and pursue their victims to the death – those whom by unholy mischief or betrayal, become marked. Once a marcher has latched on, the hunted have only one option – to run, for as long as possible, with a desperation to pass the mark onto some other unwitting soul, and hope the new victim can as well, lest the mark fall back to them after that person is caught and devoured.Troy Terrill, a young upstart in the game of paranormal investigation, finds himself the only hope of not one, but two cursed people with marchers on their trail. Can he rid them of their pursuing abominations? Can anyone? Don't dwell upon the answer too deeply, the act of pondering a marcher gives it your scent.

Plus, don't creep past Rob's latest — so funny it's scary:

Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

Rob Foster is the author of other well-reviewed novels in the humorous, science fiction and superhero genres. He lives and writes in the mysterious mountains of central California, near Sequoia National Forest.

Sunday, October 11, 2020

Can't you just take a compliment??


We get tired of the drama, the showboating, the histrionics... just let someone be nice to you for once!!

GAH!!

You are more than just a pretty face. Or a set of... (ahem)... ideas... with a body. You are erudite, thoughtful and confident. 

That's why the Fosterical Library (Rob's Amazon Author Page) seeks to appeal to your higher self... with reads worthy of your intellect. 

You enjoy mystery, suspense, horror, thrills, adventure, legitimately funny humor... and diverse characters with motivations that matter, rather than just serve as trope-filler. Come along! 

For starters, check out...

RETURN TO DUNWICH


Evil is reborn. Henry Armitage, grandson of the man who vanquished the cosmic anti-deity Yog Sothoth a century ago, finds himself at Miskatonic University, in search of the mysterious Necronomicon... after surveillance cameras at his own Boston College reveal their copy being stolen – by someone bearing an unnerving resemblance to historical descriptions of Wilbur Whateley, thought to be long dead. Armitage’s fears double, when he discovers a neo-satanic faction of the U.S. Military exists in an underground annex below Miskatonic. They have located the Sleeper of R’lyeh – Cthulhu – and plan to waken, and weaponize him, to pull mankind back to the dark age of ethereal galactic rule upon the Earth! Henry Armitage must prevent the redawning of an evil from beyond the cosmic veil, aided by a monster his grandfather battled, and a rogue group of Miskatonic faculty! Rob Foster creates a modern-day Lovecraftian nightmare – soaked in future technology and ancient blood. The rational and the incredible collide in unholy battle; a tale that will keep you awake, with the lights on – to the last word, which may not be the last.

MURDER SHE LAUGHED


This book will keep you up at night… unwilling to stop reading, desperately in need to find out who survives, who gets away with the vilest of acts, and who walks away without a whisper of suspicion. Or you’ll simply lie in bed, staring into the darkness… wondering, dreading, unable to find relief even in the privacy of your own thoughts. The terrors, manmade or otherwise, are relentless in a world where blood, and alliances no matter how loyal or grudging, are cheap. Whom can you trust when surrounded by strangers with unknown intentions? Or completely alone in a landscape of peril? How confident are you of your own resourcefulness amid a maze of killers? Long lost tales of the famous and infamous dubiously light the way to your escape, in this nerve-rattling anthology. Sherlock Holmes faces his own unending nightmare in 'The Sleeper Rises,' and the forever elusive Zodiac Killer resurfaces to solve, and keep hidden, his own identity in 'Mr. A, Alias Mr. Z'… plus other spine shivering tales of horrible revelation and mind-bending visions of mysteries past and future. Stay awake! Beware of what lurks just around that dark corner.

YOU CAN RUN


"They are beyond anything you can do... except run." – 'Henry' (last known words)

Who are they? What are they? The world of supernatural lore knows them only as "marchers." Ancient ethereal predators from beyond the veil. For centuries they have hunted humans, silently, relentlessly. With no concept of mercy, they cannot be pleaded with, and pursue their victims to the death – those whom by unholy mischief or betrayal, become marked. Once a marcher has latched on, the hunted have only one option – to run, for as long as possible, with a desperation to pass the mark onto some other unwitting soul, and hope the new victim can as well, lest the mark fall back to them after that person is caught and devoured.Troy Terrill, a young upstart in the game of paranormal investigation, finds himself the only hope of not one, but two cursed people with marchers on their trail. Can he rid them of their pursuing abominations? Can anyone? Don't dwell upon the answer too deeply, the act of pondering a marcher gives it your scent.

Plus, don't creep past Rob's latest — so funny it's scary:

Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

Rob Foster is the author of other well-reviewed novels in the humorous, science fiction and superhero genres. He lives and writes in the mysterious mountains of central California, near Sequoia National Forest.


 

Saturday, October 3, 2020

Break Free!


Is 'October-fest' already chaining you down in the same old tired plot tropes and clichés? Sure, there's a lot to be said for the classics, but occasionally one needs to shake things up!

The Fosterical Library (a.k.a. Rob's Amazon Author's Page) is a treasure vault of unpredictable tales of terror, horror, suspense, surprise — and sci-fi fantasy. The only key you need is one of the above CLICKS.

Feast your eyes upon a literary goodie-bag of Halloween treats.

RETURN TO DUNWICH


Evil is reborn. Henry Armitage, grandson of the man who vanquished the cosmic anti-deity Yog Sothoth a century ago, finds himself at Miskatonic University, in search of the mysterious Necronomicon... after surveillance cameras at his own Boston College reveal their copy being stolen – by someone bearing an unnerving resemblance to historical descriptions of Wilbur Whateley, thought to be long dead. Armitage’s fears double, when he discovers a neo-satanic faction of the U.S. Military exists in an underground annex below Miskatonic. They have located the Sleeper of R’lyeh – Cthulhu – and plan to waken, and weaponize him, to pull mankind back to the dark age of ethereal galactic rule upon the Earth! Henry Armitage must prevent the redawning of an evil from beyond the cosmic veil, aided by a monster his grandfather battled, and a rogue group of Miskatonic faculty! Rob Foster creates a modern-day Lovecraftian nightmare – soaked in future technology and ancient blood. The rational and the incredible collide in unholy battle; a tale that will keep you awake, with the lights on – to the last word, which may not be the last.

MURDER SHE LAUGHED


This book will keep you up at night… unwilling to stop reading, desperately in need to find out who survives, who gets away with the vilest of acts, and who walks away without a whisper of suspicion. Or you’ll simply lie in bed, staring into the darkness… wondering, dreading, unable to find relief even in the privacy of your own thoughts. The terrors, manmade or otherwise, are relentless in a world where blood, and alliances no matter how loyal or grudging, are cheap. Whom can you trust when surrounded by strangers with unknown intentions? Or completely alone in a landscape of peril? How confident are you of your own resourcefulness amid a maze of killers? Long lost tales of the famous and infamous dubiously light the way to your escape, in this nerve-rattling anthology. Sherlock Holmes faces his own unending nightmare in 'The Sleeper Rises,' and the forever elusive Zodiac Killer resurfaces to solve, and keep hidden, his own identity in 'Mr. A, Alias Mr. Z'… plus other spine shivering tales of horrible revelation and mind-bending visions of mysteries past and future. Stay awake! Beware of what lurks just around that dark corner.

YOU CAN RUN


"They are beyond anything you can do... except run." – 'Henry' (last known words)

Who are they? What are they? The world of supernatural lore knows them only as "marchers." Ancient ethereal predators from beyond the veil. For centuries they have hunted humans, silently, relentlessly. With no concept of mercy, they cannot be pleaded with, and pursue their victims to the death – those whom by unholy mischief or betrayal, become marked. Once a marcher has latched on, the hunted have only one option – to run, for as long as possible, with a desperation to pass the mark onto some other unwitting soul, and hope the new victim can as well, lest the mark fall back to them after that person is caught and devoured.Troy Terrill, a young upstart in the game of paranormal investigation, finds himself the only hope of not one, but two cursed people with marchers on their trail. Can he rid them of their pursuing abominations? Can anyone? Don't dwell upon the answer too deeply, the act of pondering a marcher gives it your scent.

Plus, don't creep past Rob's latest — so funny it's scary:

Oliver Akers thought he was the worst stand-up comic in Hollywood. That is until he saw the act of a guy named Joey Lou Dillerbacher… along with the rest of the Dillerbacher showbiz clan. It only gnawed at him more, that they got gigs despite being awful. Gig after gig after gig – they are so under-talented and over-rewarded, they'd p.o. the Pope. Even worse, Oliver suddenly finds himself on a relentless loop crossing their path! On a multi-state road trip yet. With his own career going south fast, Oliver must somehow pull his funny out of freefall to survive, physically and emotionally – especially when he stumbles onto the secret side mission of these horrible, but well-connected, performers, and becomes one of their targets.

Rob Foster is the author of other well-reviewed novels in the humorous, science fiction and superhero genres. He lives and writes in the mysterious mountains of central California, near Sequoia National Forest.